Okay, so you have a cat. You bought a cat, or adopted a cat, inherited a cat, kidnapped a cat, or something. Anyway, a cat lives with you. You get something out of this arrangement, and the cat gets something out of this arrangement.

For the human’s part, you are expected to provide a number of things. Obviously, you have to provide food and a place to live and a litter box that has to be cleaned. Other things you are required to provide include but are not limited to the following: toys, pillows, bed, assorted other furniture, maid service, chauffeur service, payment for vet bills, things that are supposed to be scratched up, things that were not really meant to be scratched up, flea prevention, registration fees, newspapers, books, boxes, bags, odd bits of plastic, shiny floor to slide the odd bits of plastic on, etc...

Now, you think you should get credit for paying rent and the water bill and the electric bill, but really, you don’t. You’d have to pay that stuff anyway. You might get credit for something called a pet deposit. Or, you might have paid higher rent for a more cat friendly place, or you might have a longer commute or something like that. You get credit for that.

At least, you might get credit for that from other people with cats. The cats themselves do not care. Those are all problems for humans to deal with.

For the cat’s part of the arrangement, what the cat provides depends on the individual cat and may vary somewhat and be described in different ways, but in general it is referred to as the cute. The cat provides provides the cute.

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That’s it. In return for all that other stuff, the cat provides the cute.

Now, you might think that you are also entitled to some show of affection. Or, you might think that you are entitled to sleep, or quiet, or a number of other things.

Where did you get that idea?

Now, sometimes, depending on the cat’s mood and schedule and so forth, the cat may allow you to somehow show your affection. Your show of affection may be returned, or it may not.

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And, most likely there will be a daily meeting of some sort scheduled for morning and/or evening. This is when the most show of affection is most likely offered and tolerated by the cat. The scheduling is done by the cat, and attendance is mandatory for everyone living with the cat. If you try to skip, shorten, or run the meeting yourself, there will be consequences.

If you do not agree to all of the above and more, why did you get a cat?