All images via Jim’ll Paint It where Jim will take whatever crazy request you have and create it with MSPaint. Enjoy. He also has a book of his paintings called Electric Dreams: The Collected Works available from fine booksellers like this one.
Above: Could you paint a depressed, alcoholic horse losing his shit and thumping the barman for making a crack about his long face?
A lovely picture of the Queen
Snoop Dog steals a butcher’s sausages.
Jeremy Kyle stuck on a deserted island going crazy doing his show with coconuts.
Please paint me the final round of Salvador Dali’s surrealist version of Countdown. One of the contestants is Danny Dyer and the other is the ghost of some swiss cheese. Naturally the clock has melted and Danny’s head has exploded whilst attempting to solve a particularly surreal crucial conundrum.
Handy Andy and Tommy Walsh, having attached belt sanders to their feet like roller skates, are jousting with metre-long drill bits in their drill of choice. Tommy Walsh has opted for a sensible 36V Bosch SDS hammer drill; while Handy Andy only has a second hand Ryobi 12V drill with a missing battery as it’s all he could afford. The joust is taking place in the engine room of the Event Horizon.
Noel’s Post Apocalyptic House Party
Please paint a recreation of the russian roulette scene from the deer hunter using your choice of muppets.
Please paint me Charlie Sheen winning.
Please paint a picture of David Attenborough sitting proudly atop a great white shark which has somehow evolved legs and is winning the men’s 400 metre hurdles having eaten the other athletes.
Please can you paint Daft Punk Morris dancing on the surface of Mars wearing only their helmets and official Morris dancing tassels and braces. Adam Ant is shredding on the electric guitar to accompany the dance. The sun has gone supernova and Earth is exploding in the distance.
Can you please paint for me Rolf Harris in the Colosseum, holding his wobble board and shouting to the crowd ‘Are you not entertained?!’ The crowd, meanwhile, is represented by 80,000 Joey Tribbianis, from the Friends episode where he had a turkey stuck on his head.
Please could you paint me Susan Boyle dressed as Ripley from Aliens wearing the big yellow robotic machine desperately trying to open a packet of Hobnobs.
Wolverine stuck in a cat-flap
Please paint He-Man on Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents.
Tony the Tiger is dead
Christmas Cards now available at jimllpaintit.bigcartel.com
Zombie Jesus Birthday Party and Morrissey Ruins Christmas
Please can you paint for me the beautiful moment when Voldemort finally finds a Coke bottle with his name on it.
Can you please paint me Chris Hanson, anchor of Dateline NBC’s “To Catch a Predator”, bursting out from behind a curtain in one of those big open plan American kitchens to surprise a clearly humiliated Predator - the trophy hunting action/horror kind. The beast, sat at the breakfast bar, is wearing a Wham t-shirt as part of a misguided attempt to appear hip with the kids and is holding a helium balloon in one hand. With the other hand he is trying unsuccessfully to cover his face from the cameras as a SWAT team approaches from behind, headed up by a clearly confused Danny Glover who has come dressed only in the loveheart boxer shorts he wore in the opening scenes of Lethal Weapon 4. Gun gripped in both hands, Glover can be seen to utter his world-weary catchphrase: “I’m too old for this shit”.
Madonna drying out cigarette ends under a hand drier in the ladies toilets in Wetherspoons
Coronation Street Fighter II