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Time For Some New Deadly Sins

The seven deadly sins of wrath, envy, lust, pride, sloth, gluttony and greed have had a really good run over the past few millennia. The only problem with them is that they don't seem to speak to our current era very well.

What's so wrong with wrath?Wrath is one of my favorite emotions. I enjoy being angry about things especially petty stuff. There is also the argument that Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan is the best of all the movies. I'm not sure that Star Trek II: The Time Khan Turned The Other Cheek would have been as good.


Sloth also gets a really bad rap. First off Sloth is ultimately the hero in The Goonies. Even animal sloths are awesome. More to the point though, isn't laziness the reason that humanity has developed all of our amazing technology. You can feel free to toil in a field all day and go to bed when the sun goes down, but that sounds terrible to me. I like spending my evenings numbing my mind with television and the internet.

Do you know what goes great with a slothful evening of TV watching? Eating an entire tub of coffee ice cream. Don't get me wrong, overindulging on a regular basis is not good, but the occasional foray into gluttony is fantastic. Maybe when they wrote these sins down chocolate cookies hadn't been invented yet.


How about lust? That must be bad, right? Sure it's bad if your lust involves lamps or devolves into stalking, but lust that involves a willing partner or partners is phenomenal. Lust can lead to amazing things being done to and done with your naughty bits. Let the Duggars embrace their chastity. I want passion.

Then there is envy. I know envy is wrong. I should be happy with what I have and not worry about what my neighbor has. But, I wonder if the Bible ever considered that my neighbor might have a bigger house and a boat. Probably not. I can still be kind to him and still really, really want his boat.


The sin of pride also baffles me. Humility is great when you're accepting an award and you don't want people to think you're a jerk. In every day life though if I do something awesome my hand is immediately elevated into high-five position. Take kinja for example. Some people might write here and genuinely not care if their post gets comments or recommendations. Not me. I live for stars!

Finally there is greed. Sorry greed. You're still bad.

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