So I was talking to my brother on Monday and he was telling me how he knew a couple of the guys on the show, " Downeast Dickering"—mostly Clint whom he used to drop acid with and hang out with during the years of his misspent youth. He liked Clint a lot and like my brother, they all kind of were sketchy dudes in their early 20s. Problems with drugs and the law. But now Clint has ascended with the help of other Mainers and the makers of Uncle Henry's Swap guide to the History Channel. Is this an accurate portrayal? Let's break it down.

1. Dickering: I mean, using the Uncle Henry's Swap guide is definitely a thing but I haven't heard it called Dickering before. Neither have any of the Mainers I know. And given that half the cast are from Vermont and the rest from Lewiston Auburn, I don't think this is some term that they've used a helluva lot themselves.

2. The beards. Mainers can be grubby but big beards as a fashion statement denotating rural American dude seems more like a nod to the artifice of Duck Dynasty than the way that these guys really look like. I should know. I'm from a much more hick background than they are.

3. Downeast—none of these guys are from Downeast. That's a small part of Maine, despite what some people might think. It is part of the coast—down east. I'm from Up North. Most of you are From Away. It's all about driving or something from some unknown part of Maine which is the epicenter. They are from Dover-Foxcroft, Lewiston or Vermont. VERMONT. Go to hell with that shit. I like Vermont but stop pretending you are from Down East, man. Go do your Northeast Kingdom Dickering and shit.

4. The accents. I mean, Maine accents are a thing that I can't even always understand but those fuckers are pouring it on thick.


5. Calling people flatlanders: The only people I've heard claim that is a Maine thing are like people from York (ie almost Massachusetts) saying that people Up North or Down East say "flatlander." That's bullshit. Maine isn't mountainous. When I hear flatlander, I can tell that someone is trying to be more of a hick than they are. Just talk a lot about Carhartt Jeans and have opinions about Ford vs. GMC pick up trucks and leave the fancy lingo alone.

So anyway, I'd give a show about a 5/10 for accuracy, mostly because like guys in Maine, Clint did a fuck load of LSD. What about your state?