Getting the best of you.
Getting the best of you.
This is a platform for User Generated Content. G/O Media assumes no liability for content posted by Kinja users to this platform.

Superman is DONE with Lex Luthor lovers

Illustration for article titled Superman is DONE with Lex Luthor lovers

Superman has unfriended all 44 mutual friends he had with Lex Luthor on the evil Facebook. He knows this was drastic and some of you wanted him to be the bigger superhero and he apologizes the way Superman would, with sincerity and some puppydog eyeballs.

Advertisement

He understands the difficult position that someone like the poor monocle/faux eyeglasses salesman is in, and he does. He does not harbor any ill will toward those Luthor followers. But neither does he want them in his life.

Because after declaring his intentions, and explaining how much it troubled him and how nice it would be to know that, even though they were friends with both, they still support Superman and understand his pain at constantly having to keep Lex Luthor from destroying the planet or enslaving its inhabitants, not one said a peep. No one sent Superman a private message to say they understood his psychic pain, or zip.

Advertisement

So then Superman has to wonder. Do you even care at all? And if you don't care, why are we "friends."

There is a whole great big world out here full of people who would never, in a million years, Friend Lex Luthor. Superman's life is too short, just like everyone's, and he needs to start surrounding himself with those non-Luthor-lovers for a change.

Advertisement

Superman apologizes for burdening you with his rather sad little personal dilemmas and he promises to get right back to regular villian-defeating duties tout suite. After he goes and burns some photos in the backyard and sings IT'S BEEN SEVEN HOURS AND FIFTEEN DAYS...sob sob sob sob....SINCE YOU TOOK YOUR LOVE AWAAAAY.....

Share This Story

Get our newsletter