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Snacktalk

Illustration for article titled Snacktalk

Every once in a while, McSweeney's likes to solicit new reviews of new fun foods for you, the readers to peruse for the possibility of eating. I am sharing you a favorite along with my own very brief review and ask you to tell us about any new foods that you've tried! In this article, they review, among other thing, Dragon 2 shapes Mac and Cheese, where you can epically conquer 2 types of dragon for lunch:

Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Dinner, Dragon 2 Shapes

Submitted by Vivian Wagner

OK, a few confessions: I didn't know this was what I bought. I thought I was buying Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Dinner, REGULAR shapes. I'm not proud of the fact that I buy Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Dinner, eat it, and love it, but it's the truth. Another confession: I have no idea what Dragon 2 is. Or what the shapes are supposed to be, though I'm guessing dragons of some kind. And finally: I didn't eat this. I threw it out. It was that bad.

See, I boiled the noodles like normal, without at first noticing the strange shapes. I boiled them for seven minutes, something I've known how to do since I was seven. In fact, I was thinking about how long I've known how to cook Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Dinner while I cooked it.

After seven minutes, I poured the noodles out into the colander like normal, and that's when I noticed the shapes. Weird shapes. Shapes that made me think of twisty worms or growths. If they had looked like dragons, that would have at least been something. And they were white and hard, not glistening with the sense of promise I'd come to expect from Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Dinner. I poured them back into the pan and studied them. They were clearly not cooked. But I'd cooked them seven minutes! I looked at the box—the first time I've had to look at the box of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Dinner since I was seven—and that's when I saw it: "Cook 11 to 12 min., or until done."

It was too late. They were inedible. So I ran to the store and got real Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Dinner. It made me happy. End of story.

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They also review "Epic Bar: Turkey with Almonds & Cranberries", 번데기 (Beondegi, canned), XOJO In-Game Protein Drink, Thunderbird Energetica Cacao Hemp Walnut Bar, On Tap Liquid Beer Enhancers, among many many others. Read and review the reviews. Or review your own food choices. I just made some gazpacho, which is a staple food for me so there isn't anything really new. Though I did buy this, Illy, Latte Macchiato, which was the most delicious of all the large bottled mass market latte drinks (not too sweet like International Delight or Starbucks). I wish they would just bottle up iced espresso or cold brewed coffee. Maybe I'm lazy. Maybe I should just make it myself.

Also, here are other reviews!

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