So today I got some amazing out-of-the-blue news! I’m approved for my farm start-up loan. Now, I *knew* I was going to get the money somehow. It’s just that actually getting it has been a horrible struggle that has derailed all my plans and made my life hell for the last month.

I have been working my way through a federal government program meant to help beginning farmers get started. It offers lower interest rates and promises to approve you even when you wouldn’t “look good” to a normal bank. I assumed that I fit this category perfectly. I purposely waited until my cows were about 30 days from calving to submit the paperwork, because they promised me it would only take a week or so to get the money. I didn’t want the money too early, because I need to have the construction finished before the farm will start making money and I will have something to make payments with.

I asked them if they had everything they need from me. They asked for more things. I sent them.

They asked for more things.

They sent a snail mail letter asking for EVEN MORE things.

The man CAME TO MY HOUSE (by appointment) today to take pictures of everything. He tells me he needs a literal line by line description of every tiny thing I might buy, down to actual nuts and bolts, or they won’t approve me. Then they need to conduct and environmental review (nevermind that a separate federal agency is constructing all of the engineering plans for my environmental protection pieces). THEN they need to have an appraiser come out and review every building and if it doesn’t come out correctly I won’t be approved.

Keep in mind, that phone calls & meetings are the focus of my anxiety. So every time the feds requested more info, I’d have to go back to more of my vendors and get more info, then send it on to the fed guy. Days and days of stressing out over 5-minute phone calls.

I had to send three cows to my neighbors, because they are due to calve on May 1st and at this point there’s no way the construction will be done by then. If I don’t have it finished in 30 days, I will start running into come real problems.

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Last week I started to suspect this process was going nowhere, so I called a well-respected agricultural lending company. On Tuesday I sent them my original government application (before the 5 other additional requests). He called me after the federal government guy left my house today to tell me....

You are 100% approved just come sign the paperwork you will have your money in 2 business days.

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Granted, the government interest rate was 2.8% and the private rate will be in the low Fives. But it’s only a 7-year loan, so the interest isn’t as huge as say, a home mortgage. And fuck the federal government, this bank actually wants to work with me.

So by this time next week I will be FLUSH with 1/4 of a million bucks! And then I will immediately spend it all. There are going to be so many COWS!

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I am as excited as this cow is.