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Better Know a Balker: Jenn44416 the ~*Honor Troll*~ M.A.S.H.

BALKers, please allow me a moment for a sincere mea culpa. My life briefly got in the way of my MASHing, but now I am back and getting back into the swing of things and I have our most recent (over two months ago oh god I suck big hairy balls I'm sorry) results for Jenn the Honor Troll!

Up next in the queue we have Grandad and Sirdam Tycho, after them is HotFryePie and BayAreaChick. If you'd like to sign up (or make sure that you already did), please leave a comment below.

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Don't remember/never learned how to play MASH? Check out instructions here and all of our past entries here.

Jenn, our most beloved and lovely, the one we all fight over, please enjoy this paltry sacrifice I have made in honor of your beauty and mercy. I'll leave it and a chocolatae cake on an alter in your temple.

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Given that you'll be working for him as a famous actress, I hope Kanye agrees to perform at your wedding while you scarf some chocolate wedding cake and power through a whole bunch of Honor Troll Tears, as we all will call gin from now on. But only when we're not chowing down on cheese fondue, of course. Maybe he'll sing your smash hit Stairway to Heaven. DANCE BREAK.

You also may want to bring your dalmatian with you everywhere, since you chose to go weaponless in our cage match. But I dunno how much help it's gonna be, so it's a good thing you've got super strength. I don't know how else you'd survive the Cosby Show (which is going to be freaking awesome with Kanye in it, now that I think about it). Perhaps your spooky skull tattoo will just scare them all away, but just in case, Clair will make sure that you get "I died as I lived, trying to kill my mailman" carved on your headstone because you know Rudy would screw that up.

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And finally, you may be living in a shack, my dear, but I don't think you're going to mind overmuch since you'll be waltzing with Dan Connor the whole time. (Answer to that question: he's the make-out king, obviously. And you're the queen.)

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