Getting the best of you.

The 1990s were an influential time for a little Toasted, and TV was one of my main educators. Sometimes, however, TV shows really really messed with my susceptible mind. Let us take a trip down the rabbit hole:

Clarissa Explains It All (1991-1994)

Who wouldn’t love Clarissa? She had a killer bedroom: TV, COMPUTER, BABY ALLIGATOR. She had an awesome best friend: SAM, WHO COMES IN THROUGH A WINDOW. She had a baby brother she bossed around: FERG FACE.

Clarissa has such a cool life that she gave me hope for my teenage years. I too would befriend some good-looking boy, and my father would somehow be okay with him entering my bedroom window whenever it struck his fancy. I would get a computer of my own, have cool news-style graphics to illustrate my life, my eclectic clothing style would be lauded by my peers, and my parents would love each other and stop fighting.

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None of these things happened.

Saved by the Bell: The College Years (1993-1994)

THIS SHOW FUCKED ME UP. I thought in college I would have a spacious dorm with a huge living room. I would be an adult and do adult things. I would marry the boyfriend I started out with and be just like Zack and Kelly!

None of these things happened.

Dawson’s Creek (1998-2003)

WTF, Dawson’s Creek. This show made me think I was so stupid because I didn’t use really big words from the dictionary in my everyday language. I thought my high school experience would be somehow be lacking because my friends and I were nowhere near as mature as these students at Capeside High School. I would end up worse off because I didn’t have a heart-rending, earth-shattering love like Joey had for Dawson.

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None of these things happened.

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