I am currently in job hunting hell and a question I keep coming across is "What advice would you give your teenage self?"* and since this is Backtalk I thought we could give this a Nic Cage twist!

So if you got into a time machine and ended up hanging out with Nicolas Cage, what advice would you give him? Try being less crazy? Open a 401k? Stay the fuck away from the Ghost Rider franchise?

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Or maybe you wouldn't give him any advice at all. Maybe you would punch him in the face. Maybe you would realize that this is the freaking 70s and ditch Nic to go get all those cool drugs they don't sell anymore that my mom is always talking about.

*Just an aside, my "official" answer is to have more self confidence and my real answer is everyone's boobs are different sizes. I really fucking wish someone told me that.

ETA: That is Teen NC in the picture. I found it on a Spanish language gossip site, because of course I did.