Let's Be Kinja Kardashian Superstars! Totally For Real New App!

Let's play the brand new, totally serious app from Gawker Media: Kinja Kardashian Hollywood. Navigate Kinja to have fun, learn and sate the emptiness of the human condition! Stop climbing the ladders of society, employment and your impotent God. Climb the KinjaVerse on your phone, computer or mobile device!

Create A Burner:

Let's Be Kinja Kardashian Superstars! Totally For Real New App!

Start out and create a burner. Write clever jokes with personal content about a meaningful article to get stars. Then feel the internet shift towards something sexy in pop culture! It seems like forever ago, but an the article was authored by the ghost of an aggregator Jon Stewart's new be-peach-fuzzed lackey destroyed. Sure, you want intelligent conversation, but did you see how she handled that sausage? Oh well. Try again tomorrow to fill that gaping void left in your soul. This truly is the best of all Kinjas!

Get a Star:

Let's Be Kinja Kardashian Superstars! Totally For Real New App!

Finally you earn a star! No more obscurity in the pinks or grays! It's time to use this fancy new thing to defend some moderately liberal and reasonable critical thought. Well, it turns out it's time to get lost in a sea of fedoras that are sad they don't even have a friend to soak next to in a bathtub. These men keep advocating for their rights, and they are damned angry. Their limp rage sprays all over the comments, breaking this iteration of Kinja, sensible discussion and your faith in the supposed meritocracy innate in progression of conversations. That seems empty like your hopes and dreams now. Oh my god! This fool wanted stars, and now that system doesn't matter either. This new Kinja is the best of all Kinjas!

Get Followed:

Let's Be Kinja Kardashian Superstars! Totally For Real New App!

Your comments have be paying off, and it's time to reassert your efforts! Though, this is the only kind of paying off in your life, and that student loan collection agent keeps reminding you of that while trolling you on io9. You can get your favorite author and main page to follow you! Then you can go out and defend an argument that requires seeing a shade of gray. Shades of gray were banned when the banhammer left, and grays and stars and all of that disappeared. Welcome to the desert of the nuKinja; there's a spectre haunting Gawker Media, and the constant unease in its changing nature mirrors the discomfort built into existence by the Gods of this epoch. This is the best of all Kinjas!

Get a Sub-Blog:

Let's Be Kinja Kardashian Superstars! Totally For Real New App!

You've got a fancy new Kinja sub-blog and authorship privileges on some popular spots! You can write articles to express and inform! You're gaining followers in the new system! Responding to a main page's article, your clever shapes that make jokes and feelings are misunderstood. The shitstorm that follows leaves you banned from every sub-blog. Don't fret; you've got a tried and true idea for a viral story though. At least STD's can't be transmitted through Kinja! Let's bare ourselves for the KinjaCam, and see what viruses we can spread. We get to pet them and name them! There's a sickness in the discourse that is like the sickness you feel right before you fall asleep. This is the best all Kinjas!

A Kinja Super Star!

Let's Be Kinja Kardashian Superstars! Totally For Real New App!

You get recruited, people follow you, your expressions and information are widely shared, and your comments and thoughts are carefully considered. Finally you're going to the A-list. You decide to comment on something, you flip back to check and see the discussion. Some bag that doesn't carry its douchey water is on top, and you're left with a gaping hole into which you can't stop falling. Verily I believe this is the best of all Kinjas!

Let's Be Kinja Kardashian Superstars! Totally For Real New App!