"I had no idea you were depressed."

If you have depression, known colloquially as The Sads*, you perhaps have heard this line before. With the passing of Robin Williams, one could speculate that humor was a defense mechanism for him. When I heard the news, I immediately recalled his role as Patch Adams. The film opens with him checking himself into a psychiatric unit and he helps other patients and himself get by through the use of humor. This may have been his approach to his entire life and may have kept him alive until now.

I mask my depression on a daily basis by laughing. I often laugh to keep from crying...laughing makes my brain happy...laughing makes me temporarily forget how shitty I can feel.

I hide my Sads because I want company...I want the people around me to be happy...I care so much about my loved ones that I want them to enjoy being around me.

I laugh to survive. And it's working.

*I call it this because it makes me giggle and therefore helps me cope. I don't mean to minimize the seriousness of the disease, but I need all the laughs I can get...